Human beings are relational creatures and relationships are a fundamental element of our existence. How we are in relationship to ourselves, to others and the world influences our ability to feel safe, regulate, feel connected and share in mutual care and support (interdependence), express our needs and desires, resolve conflict, share intimacy, feel connected, and express our sexual identity — all of which are critical to our overall well-being, mental, emotional, physical, and creative health and affects our ability to flow in the river of life.
Challenges in relationship can include:
- Communication problems
- Emotional triggers that escalate into fighting and/or shutdown
- Difficulties with emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and/or trust
- Sexual issues
- Loss of romance
- Boundary issues – too rigid, too loose, violations of boundaries
- Difficulties with conflict style (assertiveness, passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive)
- Issues with parenting or co-parenting
- Moving on from divorce or relationship endings
- Illness and aging
- Or other challenges such as alcohol or drug addiction, depression
My Areas of Specialty include:
Whether it’s with work colleagues, a spouse, children, or other social relationships, difficulties in managing relationships can result in anxiety, depression, limitations in success at work, and somatic or other physical illness.
Transitions in relationships can also be difficult to navigate — whether it’s children leaving the nest and your relationship with your partner or self that needs reinventing, or navigating the ending of a relationship or marriage and managing the complexity of feelings related to loss, the unknown future, and new beginnings — therapy/coaching can help support the process of learning, growing, and figuring out what’s next. Check out the 21 Day Naked Divorce Freedom Program here.
Paths to Wellness offers therapy and coaching to improve work relationships, improve connection and intimacy in your current relationship, help to find the relationship you desire, or navigate the ending of a relationship and the life transition that’s required in coparenting, unmingling belongings, and everything else that goes along with endings.
Dr. Val holds a nonjudgmental stance in helping people find and joyfully express their own relationship style and sexuality. She help to identify and revision negative and counter-productive relationship cycles into more successful exchanges of intimacy and closeness and uses difficult life experiences as an opportunity for learning and change. Moving past shame and blame, resentment, and other defensive responses, building on personal strengths while appreciating differences, and developing or improving skills in emotional expression, communication, assertiveness, and problem solving helps couples have more joyful and rewarding relationships.
Call 650-332-4656 now to learn how you can resolve emotional triggers and old patterns and improve all your relationships.
My wife and I have seen Valerie for couples therapy periodically for the last 5 years. Valerie is a very skilled, intuitive and sensitive couples therapist. Through her direct and clear style, she has helped my wife and I learn to communicate, listen and engage each other with curiosity. I have recommended her to many people, and I really appreciate her ability to get to the heart of the matter in every session. Our marriage has definitely been strengthened with her help.
My husband and I have benefited greatly from Valerie’s approach to couple’s therapy. While she is highly empathic, she also challenges us to look at our own behaviors and to be aware of our reactions in the moment. She uses humor, playacting and gentle guidance to encourage us to use reflective listening and curiosity in place of defensiveness and anger. Her guidance has helped us through some rough patches and I’m very grateful to her.
Valerie has worked with myself and my now fiancé for the past 5 years. She has helped us overcome additions, betrayal, cultural differences and insecurities that have been a part of use for years. She has helped us learn new ways to respect and love together as one, and more importantly have a loving relationship with our own self. She is caring, never judgmental and does a great job helping us recognize the root cause of the problem or issue that arises. Both my partner and myself work regularly with her and have even done individual work with her. She is never biased and comes from such an honest and sincere place while holding each of use accountable which is what we both need at times. Without her my partner and I would not be getting married or even be the best versions of ourselves today.