Collaborative Practice Divorce Coaching

Endings are Hard, Don’t Make it Harder

Breaking up a home, the end of the dream of a happily ever after, the stressors of change, figuring out finances, and everything involed in the process of uncoupling is a deeply emotional one for most.

Even if you’re relieved to be out of it, coparenting or other elements of unraveling a life and stepping into what’s next presents challenges.

Collaborative Practice is a team approach to resolving conflict using a friendly and collaborative process that keeps the clients in control of their future and maintains what is most important: family, finances, and emotional health (as defined by the California Chapter of Collaborative Practice).

The inclusion of a mental health professional as an integral part of the team helps calibrate, attenuate, and navigate emotional waters that arise in divorce.

Model of collaborative divorce

Collaborative Divorce Coaches—typically licensed mental health professionals — manage the emotional, communication, and co-parenting aspects of separation, helping parties to reduce conflict, stay goal-focused, and negotiate effectively outside of court. They streamline the process, lower costs by curbing emotional deadlock, and facilitate productive, respectful settlement talks.
Here is a detailed breakdown of what they do and how they help:
What Collaborative Divorce Coaches Do
  • Manage Emotions: They help clients cope with the stress, anger, and grief of divorce, preventing emotional outbursts from stalling negotiations.
  • Improve Communication: Coaches teach skills to help spouses communicate constructively, ensuring both parties feel heard and respected.
  • Set Goals & Focus: They assist in identifying individual needs and long-term goals, keeping the process “on track” and focused on solutions rather than past conflicts.
  • Develop Parenting Plans: They work with parents to create co-parenting structures, helping transition from an intimate relationship to a business-like coparenting dynamic.
  • Facilitate Meetings: Coaches often manage the agenda in joint sessions, intervening when discussions become unproductive.
  • Identify Roadblocks: They help clients recognize behaviors or “hot buttons” that impede progress.
How They Help (Key Benefits)
  • Reduced Conflict & Cost: By keeping emotions in check, they minimize arguments, which speeds up the process and reduces legal fees.
  • Better Decision Making: Clients make rational, future-focused decisions rather than reactive ones.
  • Child-Centered Approach: They ensure the children’s needs remain central, especially when creating parenting plans.
  • Structured Support: They provide a neutral, safe space to process feelings without using legal counsel as a therapist.
  • Efficient Process: They act as glue for the team, integrating with lawyers and financial experts to ensure smooth workflow.
In essence, divorce coaches ensure the process is healthier, faster, and more amicable, aiming for a settlement both parties can live with.

As a Collaborative Practice Divorce Coach, I help people navigate the intense emotions that can arise, and move through challenges, and to feel more empowered in their decision-making, and ability to move forward. Moving forward helps build resiliency, and helps you to help your children be resilient.

Call 650-332-4656 or email drval@drvaleriesher.com to discuss your situation and whether Collaborative Practice is right for you.

Valerie Sher, PhD is a member of the Collaborative Practice San Mateo and Collaborative Practice Golden Gate professional groups, and CPCAL. Because this approach is coaching, rather than therapy, services are available beyond the bounds of California.