It takes us towards things. Relationship, lovers, work, purpose. When we shut it down, we shut down our life force energy. I think for much of my life I didn’t allow myself to feel desire, or I just wasn’t connected to it. Afraid to feel hurt, rejection? Where did I learn these things? When I started to allow myself to feel desire and started to really feel passionate about things it was potent, engaging, magnetic. As I started to dance with these potent feelings, I remember a man I was super attracted to. Feminine Shakti drawn into the magnetic field of this powerful Shiva.
But I couldn’t have him. He wasn’t available to me. I loved playing with him on the dance floor but at some point I realized I couldn’t have it, wasn’t going to have it and I kind of shut down. And as I was practicing a lot of mindfulness and self-inquiry, I noticed I was feeling depressed or that shut down ambivalent feeling that was so familiar.
So I decided to let myself feel the potency and primal energy of my desire for him knowing full well I couldn’t have him. I let it be the fuel to feel alive, passionate, wild, and take me on a journey. A wild ride into myself that needed nothing else. And in doing so, others felt my passion, the world responded to my aliveness, other doors opened for this energy to be met. And I was also content to just be in that field within myself. It was joyful, ecstatic, and I felt deeply connected to my essence.
What is your dance with desire? Can you live wildly in your own energetic primal life force energy? How do you shut it down?
Want support in feeling yourself more fully, reconnecting to your deeper self, passion and desire? Contact me at 650-332-4656 or email me at email@example.com.